how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
