So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
