i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
