My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
