During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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