we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
