just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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