Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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