what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize