I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
