You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
