Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
as a side note pls kill me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
