I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
