can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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