You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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