I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i think my cat just said my name.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
