forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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