You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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