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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
