so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how can u be prego again
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
