maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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