Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
