So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
