Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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