Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
PANTIES FOUND
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
