I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Never joke about your clitoris.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
