You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
