sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
