I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
