dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
