her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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