i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
