it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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