How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
