its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
