so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
