Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
