I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
