My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
