if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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