walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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