I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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