Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
