After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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