What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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