I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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