Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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