i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize