Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i will never coherently bang her
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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