I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wish my penis had a tongue
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
