I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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