why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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