actually, I'm a sock model
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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