"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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